Let’s not beat around the bush here, what we’re really talking about with this dish are testicles, specifically from a lamb or steer. In fact all across the Front Range of the Rocky Mountains and in some parts of Texas there are local festivals based around eating the testicles trimmed from lambs and steers. The practice in beef is done with most male calves to keep testosterone production from affecting the quality of the meat as the animal grows.
Nutritionally they are a lean source of protein. They are high in potassium, phosphorous and zinc. Sourcing them is usually a seasonal affair in late spring or early summer. A country or full service butcher can usually find them for you if you put in a special order in late April. Make sure when you place the order you note that you want calf testicles, or lamb testicles. You don’t want bull testicles from an old bull that has gotten too old and brought to slaughter.
This isn’t the sort of dish you’re going to be eating every weekend. They are a delicacy worth trying at least once then you can make your mind up from there.
Medium size work bowl
Large pie plate
Enamel coated Dutch oven
Clip on fry thermometer
Sharp paring knife
1 cup of coconut water
2 large eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon of granulated garlic
½ teaspoon of smoked paprika
Pinch of ground cumin
1½ cups of coconut flour
¼ cup of ground almond meal
½ teaspoon of salt
½ teaspoon of fresh cracked black pepper
3 cups of duck fat
Here is how to make a Rocky Mountain Oysters
Step 1: Half an hour before you plan to cook place the testicles in the freezer. You are not trying to freeze them solid you just want to firm them up. This will make it easier to trim them up to remove any skin, blood vessels or membranes. If the testicles were frozen solid when you got them, then you will probably want to leave them out on the counter, for 30 to 45 minutes to let them partially thaw.
Step 2: When they are firm, yet still thawed enough to work with, use a sharp paring knife to trim any skin, membranes or excess blood vessels. Sometimes the testicles will come to you perfectly cleaned, other times you will have to do a lot of trimming. It really does vary from one butcher to the next.
Step 3: Lamb testicles usually don’t need to be cut down, but calf testicles often do. The goal is to cut them down into bite size chunks around ½ to 1 inch in size.
Step 4: Prepare you enamel coated Dutch oven for frying by melting the duck fat over medium heat. Clip on the fry thermometer. Your goal temperature is 375 degrees F.
Step 5: Combine the coconut flour, ground almond meal, granulated garlic, smoked paprika, salt and pepper in a large pie plate. Stir together with a fork to evenly distribute the ingredients.
Step 6: Beat the eggs and coconut water together in a medium work bowl. Toss the trimmed and cut down testicles in the egg wash. Then move them in small batches into the dredge of the pie plate.
Step 7: Working in batches deep fry the oysters in the duck fat for 3 to 5 minutes or until golden brown.
Step 8: Use a spider strainer to remove the deep fried oysters from the Dutch oven. Lay them out on a cooling rack lined with paper towels. Tent them with tinfoil to help keep them warm while you fry the next batch.
This dish is a great appetizer when served with a Paleo hot sauce like Sriracha and a cold lager-style beer.